Captured in a world of her own,
Woven in thoughts galore,
She tried to dream beyond,
But not after what happened before.
He tried to bring laughter her way,
And tried to restore her lost smile,
But how could she suddenly be happy,
When she’d lived with hurt all the
while.
She sat all by herself and tried to
reason out things. She was afraid of being betrayed again. A deep-rooted
feeling of insecurity captured her. Time couldn’t heal the wounds that Hilda
had carried for almost three long years. And she realized how badly she was
hurt, now, when the time had come to love again.
Hilda had done everything she could
to erase the faintest memories of those
events from her life. Events that she wished had never happened in the
first place. It was hard to forget him…it was harder to forgive. Even now,
three years later, the effects of the devastating break-up could still be seen
in Hilda’s life.
The girl filled with laughter, spent
nights sobbing under her pillow. The girl, who smiled like an angel, didn’t
smile anymore. The girl with a dozen friends around her now chose to be all by
herself…figuring out why life was mean to her. Hilda stopped being happy. She
stopped loving.
She grew lonelier by the day and went
through life minus a purpose. She managed to camouflage her emotions when her
family were around lest they sense the strong currents running behind her
serene face. But for how long?
Hilda needed to vent the feelings of
hurt, betrayal and guilt. She needed to let someone know how she felt. She
needed someone to tell her that life would soon be okay. She needed someone to
draw out the feelings of insecurity and restore her lost self-belief. She
wanted to be “Hilda” again. This was not what she was meant to be. This wasn’t
what she wanted to be. But the harder she’d try to get out of the pit, the
deeper she’d fall back in.
Then came along Henry, a friend, who
wiped her tears and made her laugh. He was someone she could trust, but she
chose not to. The past would come back and keep her from moving ahead. “I won’t
allow myself to get trapped another time,” she thought. But no matter how hard
Hilda tried to stop herself from liking him, she realized that she couldn’t.
The fear of being hurt again held her back. And though she longed for the love
she’d been missing all through these years, she still wasn’t ready. Or was
she?
The moment wasn’t far and Hilda
could no more escape. “I’d like to share my life with you, Hilda. Will you be
my wife?” The words rang in her ears like the sound of a gong.
She stood stunned, wondering what to
say. How could she tell him that she was still not ready, though she longed for
love again? How could she tell him that she feared him and every other man
because of what he had done to her in the past? How could she tell him
that she didn’t need any man, when the truth was that she did need him? How
could she tell him that she never felt for him, when deep down in her heart she
had already begun to love him? How…was she to allow love to bloom for the second
time in her life?
“I need time, Henry. Is that something you can
give me, having no expectations in return? Can you help me start living again?
Can you help me trust again? Henry, can you help me love again?”
After a few moments of silence, he
spoke, “Hilda, I’ll hold you when you grow weak. I’ll never leave you and I'll walk just by your
side. But Hilda, it’s you who'll have to take that first step ahead.”
Hilda knew she had to decide, but suddenly, things were not as difficult as before. She smiled.
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